my lifeas itis.
Friday, December 31, 2004
~ Last Day Of The Year ~
yupp.. aNd tHiS wiLL bE mY lAsT pOsT oF tHe yEaR tOo!
2004 hAs bEeN a bAd yEaR fOr mE aNd sEeMiNgly tHiS eArtH tOo.. bUt hEys! itx gOnNa bE oVeR iN a fEw huNdReDs oF miNs oR sO.. ^^ itx gOnNa bE a fReSh sTaRt!
2005 wiLL dEfiNitEly bE tHe sTaRt oF a nEw jOuRnEy fOr mE.. yupp.. i'll bE mEetiNg lOtx oF nEw pEePs.. aNd sTuDyiNg iN a nEw eNviRoMeNt.. hMm.. jUsT hOpE tHaT i cAn aDaPt rEaL fAsT aNd eVeRytHiNg wiLL gO wEll fOr mE. i jUsT wiSh dAt mY lEaviNg wOuLd siGniFiEs tHe eNd oF sOmE pRoBlEms bAhx.. =)
kEkE.. i nOe i hAvE nOt bEeN uPdAtiNg fOr tHe pAsT fEw dAyS lArx.. hEex.. sOrRiE lArx! oHx oHx.. iM rEaLLy siCk yEsTeRdAy lArx.. dOwN witH a flu aNd a mAjOr hEaDaChE. lUcKiLy.. i gOt bEtt3r tOdAy.. yupp. i uSeD oNe pAcKeT oF tiSsUe lEsS tHaN yEsTeRdAy! hAhAx.. oKiE.. tHaT diDn't hELp mUcH.. gEez.. tHiNk i bEtt3r gO dRiNk tHe Panadol - Hot Remedy lAt3r lo.. *ACHOO* hAhAx..
oHx oHx.. i pAcKeD aLoT oF mY cLotHeS tOdAy.. nOnO.. nOt bEcAuSe iM lEaviNg sOoN.. bUt bEcAuSe iM dOnAtiNg tO tHiS oRgAniSaTioN.. yupp.. tHeY wiLL bE sEnDiNg rEliEf pAcKaGeS tO Sri Lanka.. tHiNk tHeY wiLL bE lEaviNg Malaysia oN tHe 2nd/3rd oF jAn bAhx.. hMm.. mY siStEr aNd muM tHoUgHt i wAs wiErD wHeN tHeY sAw mE giviNg aWaY sO mAnY oF mY cLotHeS lArx.. deN i wAs likE "tHeN.. wHy dO u bOtHeR tO dOnAtE?" gEez.. tHiNkiNg oF it nOw.. i tHiNk iM qUitE ruDe lArx.. bUt iM siCk mAhx aNd iM aLrEaDy mOoDy tHiS fEw wEeKs le.. >.<
iM nOw tRyiNg tO cOntAcT a fEw aGeNciEs lArx.. yupp.. witH tHe hElp oF sOmE fReNz lArx.. hEex.. i kiNda dRaGgeD tHeM iN tO hElp mE lo.. hAhAx.. oHx oHx.. iM tRyiNg tO sEe iF i cAn hElp lArx.. i uNdErStAnD dAt tHeY nEeD sOmE vOluNtEeRs tO hElp iN pAcKiNg rEliEf sUpPliEs tO tHe aFFeCteD aReAs oF tHe qUaKe aNd tSuNaMi.. yupp.. i wAnT tO sTaRt tHe yEaR dOiNg sOmEtHiNg mEaNiNgFuL fOr tHe lEsS fOrtuNaTe.. =)
tHoSe wHo aRe fReE.. tEll mE lArx.. vOluNtEeR uR sErviCe, k? yupp.. tHiNk i'll bE at SPH NewsCenter tHiS fEw dAyS lArx.. tHeY hAvE a cOlleCtiOn cEntEr tHeRe..
aS i pRoMiSeD.. Seasons Of Love iS bAcK up! =) hOpE i cAn fOrgEt aBt mY tRoUbLeS oF 2004 aNd mOvE oN witH liFe.. .. .. aNd i wiLL!
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
9:13 PM
Monday, December 27, 2004
= Earthquake - Tsunami =
*hAix* fRoM mY tittlE.. u cAn gUeSs wAt iM gOnNa bLoG aBt.. yupp. tHe wOrSt qUaKe tHaT rOcKeD aSiA iN tHe pAsT 40 yEaRs.. at tHe mOmEnT, mOrE tHaN 20,000 hAvE diEd iN tHiS mErCiLeSs diSaStEr.
itx qUitE dEpReSsiNg, iSn't it? eSpC. wHeN it hApPeNeD oN bOxiNg dAy! *hAix* i duN rEaLLy nOe wAt tO sAy lArx.. buT sOmEhOw it hAs aN iMpAcT oN mE lArx.. >.<
oN tHe TV, i sAw tHiS lAdY sHoUtiNg aT hEr sOn.. a rEaLLy yOuNg oNe.. pErHaPs aBt 3 yEaRs bAhx.. yupp.. tHe sOn hAs pAsSeD aWaY lArx.. bUt tHiS lAdY jUsT sHoUt aT hEr sOn, hOpiNg hE wiLL wAkE lArx.. itx qUitE sAdDeNiNg lAr.. rEaLLy...
aNd.. MALAYSIA wAs aFFeCteD tOo! mOrE tHaN 40 diEd lo.. aNd wHeN i fOuNd oUt, ytd, tHaT Penang wAs bAdly aFFeCtEd bY tSuNaMi.. i wAs likE OMG! cOz my didi liVeS tHeRe!! [hMm.. kEkE.. i nOe iM aLrEaDy tHe yOuNgEsT iN tHe fAmiLy le.. iM tOkiNg aBt mY gOd-bRo.. yupp... bUt i tReAt hiM liKe mY owN didi lArx] sO.. u cAn iMaGiNe hOw wOrRiEd i aM lArx.. deN i sMs-ed hiM iMmEdiAtEdly lo.. aNd hEex.. hE's aLritE! *rEliEvEd* gUeSs wAt? hE's rEaLLy cOoL witH iT lArx.. hE evEn wEnT sHoPpiNg lo!!! "-- hAhAx.. luCkiLy hiS hOuSe iS oN tHe hiLL lArx.. sO yupp.. hE aiN't aFfeCtEd by tHE tSuNaMi aT aLL! God bless!! ^^
wEnT tO sEa siDe dAt's oNly 2 miNs fRoM mY dOoR-sTeP iN tHe eVeNiNg tO eNjOy tHe bReEzE lArx.. yupp.. aNd tHe tiDe iS rEaLLy lOw tOdAy tHoUgH.. tHiNk itx bEcOz oF tHe tSuNaMi bAhx.. sO mUcH wAtEr aRe nOw oN lAnD.. >.<
aNd i wAs SMS-iNg MauReeN jiE tHeRe lArx.. hAhAx.. yupp.. MauReeN jiE.. sOrRiE aRx.. wAsTeD uR eVeNiNg.. hEex.. tHx fOr uR cOnCeRn.. buT i duN rEaLLy nOe hOw tO tEll u wAt's tRoUbLiNg mE lArx.. iM a lil iNtRovErtiC.. yupp.. bUt i rEaLLy aPpReCiAtEs iT lArx.. tHaNkEw.. hMm.. nO wOrRiEs lArx.. i'll bE fiNe.
hMm.. miNz, qAs & gAnG wEnT tO tHe cHaLet @ sEnToSa tOdAy.. i diN gO aNd i sHaN't eLaBorAtE mUcH. pEriOd. jUsT hOpE u gUyS wiLL hAvE a gReAt tiMe lArx! oHx fAnGz.. sOrRiE aRx.. itx nOt dAt i duN wAn tO gO lArx.. yupp.. u eNjOy uRsElf, k? tHe mOoNliGhT dAtE tHiNgiE.. wE wiLL hAvE tO pOsTpOnE.. aGaiN! sOrRiE aRx! hMm.. hOpE u hAd a gOoD tiMe iN HK lArx.. hAvE a gOoD rEsT tOdAy.. aNd iF aReN't tiReD tMr.. dO jOiN tHe gUyS @ sEnToSa, yA? gO hAvE fuN!
hMm.. sOmE lAsT wOrDs bEfOrE i eNd.. i hOpE tHoSe wHo hAvE uNfOtuNatEly pAsSeD aWaY wiLL gO tO hEaveN lArx.. =) deN tHeiR lOvEd oNes wiLL gEt ovEr witH sAdnEsS sOoN! tHoSe wHo aRe iNjuReD.. hOpE tHeY wiLL gEt wEll sOoN lo..
mAy God bLeSs aLL tHe viCtiMs!
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
10:02 PM
Sunday, December 26, 2004
I'm Just A Kid
"I'm Just A Kid"
Simple Plan
I woke up it was 7
I waited till 11
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own
And here it goes
[Chorus:]I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time, I had a good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever
I'm just a kid [repeat x5]
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world.
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight
I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause I'm just a kid tonight
hMm... HAPPY BOXING DAY!
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
12:00 AM
Saturday, December 25, 2004
- Merry Christmas -
itx x'mAs oNcE aGaiN!! hMm.. hOpE eVeRyOnE wiLL hAvE a gReAt tiMe tOdAy! yupp.. jUsT hAvE fuN lArx.. ^^
hEex.. i hAvE gOt nOtHiNg eLsE bEtt3r tO dO.. sO i tHoUgHt i'll pOsT aN eNtRy tO wiSh eVeRyoNe a MERRY X'MAS! hAhAx.. mAy aLL uR wiShEs cOmE tRuE aNd gEt lOtx oF pReSsiEs.. yA? *wiNkz*
hMm.. tAk3 cArE.. & sTaY hApPy!
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
3:44 PM
Thursday, December 23, 2004
* sCaReD *
When You Get To The End Of The Rope, Tie A Knot & Hang On.
tOdAy iS a bAd dAy.
oHx oHx.. i wAnT tO 1st aPoLoGiZe tO aLL tHe pEePs dAt i lOsT mY tEmPeR tO lArx.. iM rEaLLy sOrRy.. iM jUsT fEeLiNg rEaLLy uNpLeAsAnT. iF u fiNd mE sOuNdiNg hArShEr deN uSuAl.. jUsT duN cArE aBt mE lArx.. yupp.
SORRY. =/
wHy aM i sO mOoDy? wEll.. i gOt mY niGhTmArEs bAcK! gEez.. i sHaN't eLaBoRatE mUcH.
hMm.. sO mAnY pEePs kEpT aSkiNg aBt mY pLaNs fOr x'mAs lo.. gEeZ.. i duN hAvE aNy pLaNs lArx! itx kiNdA iRriTatiNg lArx.. [cOz iM mOoDy tOdAy. =( ] aS iN.. wHy sO iNtErEsTeD iN wAt iM gOiNg tO dO fOr x'mAs? itx nOt liKe i wiLL mAkE aNy diFFeReNcE lo..
mOsT pEePs wHo i lOsT mY tEmPeR tO.. aSkEd mE tHiS qUeStiOn lArx.. pArDoN mY sArCaSm, k? i duN rEaLLy nOe wHy i lOsT mY tEmPeR bAhx? pErHaPs iM aLrEaDy fEeLiNg mOoDy.. oR iS it bEcOz i duN hAvE aNy pLaNs? =X
anw.. hOpE u gUyS wiLL eNjOy uRsElvEs tHiS cHriStMaS bAhx.. hAvE fuN iN wAtEvA pLaNs u hAd mAdE lo.. jUsT hAvE a gReAt tiMe lArx.., k?
i duN bE aBlE tO gO fOr tHe cHaLeT @ sEnToSa nExT wEeK. dOn't aSk mE wHy.. i jUsT cAn't gO.. nOt dAt i duN wAn tO gO hOrx.. tHiNgs jUsT wEnT AwRy lArx.. iTx cOmPlEtEly tHe oPpOsitE oF wAt i tHiNk wiLL hApPeN lo.. *hAix* oH wElls.. i sHld hAvE kNoWn bAhx.. itx nOt dAt uNcOmMoN iN tHe 1st pLaCe.. pEriOd.
tOdAy iS tHe 23rd. dAt mAkEs it tHe evE oF x'mAs EvE.. aNd dAt's sCaRy eNoUgH. =X
i wOnDeR wAt wiLL hApPeN tMr.. oR rAtHeR.. wAt wiLL NOT hApPeN tMr.. gEez.. Anonymous sAiD: "whatever nightmares that u happen to experience, it would either not come true or reality would be the opposite of it.."
aNd i rEaLLy hOpE itx tRuE lArx.. cOz wHeN tHiNgS hApPeN... i oFteN fElt dAt i hAvE dReAMt oF it bEfOrE.. yupp.. aNd dAt rEaLLy cAn bE tErRiFyiNg!
i pRaCtiCaLLy "sToNe" mY aFtErNoOn aWaY.. aT lEaSt hAlf mY aFtErNoOn bAhx.. i wAs iN mY rOoM jUsT sittiNg tHeRe uPriGhT.. witH mY eYeS cLoSe aNd litSeNiNg tO tHe rAdiO.. hEy! itx rEaLLy qUitE cOoL lArx.. i wAs eNjOyiNg it lO.. rEaLLy.. fElt rElaxEd duRiNg dAt tiMe.. hAhAx.. *bLeAhx*
buT.. gOoD mOmEnTs dOn't lAsT lOnG bAhx.. hAhAx mUmMy cAmE iN a lil wHiLe lAtEr aNd gOt mE tO dO sOmE "sPriNg-cLeAniNg".. yupp. cLeAriNg uP sOmE thiNgs lArx.. aNd tHe tHiNgs aRe rEaLLy dUsTy, i tEll u.. gUeSs nObOdy hAvE bEeN tOuChiNg tHeM fOr a lOnG tiMe aLrEaDy!
hmm.. duNo wAt tO sAy lE.. uPdAtE tMr bAhx..
tAk3 cArE hOrx..
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
10:49 PM
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
~= Grateful =~
It Breaks Your Heart To See The One You Love Is Happy With Someone Else... But It's More Painful To Know That The One You Love Is Unhappy With You
If You Don't Know What You Want, You'll Have Nothing.
Without Warmth, Loneliness Would Only Make One Happier.
Without Touch, Darkness Would Never Be As Fearful.
hMm.. i hAvEn bEeN pOstiNg fOr tHe pAsT fEw dAyS.. sO iM gOnNa wRitE lil uPdAtEs tO mAkE uP fOr iT, k?
Monday.
i fOuNd oUt wHo Anonymous iS! yupp.. itx kiNda kEwL & cOmFoRtiNg tO kNoW dAt i sTiLL hAvE fReNz dAt rEaLLy cArEs sO mUcH lArx.. wAs qUitE mOvEd wHeN i rEcEivEd tHe mAiL fRoM Anonymous cOz Anonymous iS fAciNg sOmE pRoBleMs tOo.. yEt Anonymous tOoK tHe tiMe tO tRy eNcOuRaGiNg mE aNd sTuFF. pErHaPs tHiS iS a gOoD tiMe fOr mE tO nOe wHo rEaLLy aRe mY tRuE fReNz.. hMm.. tHaNkEw tO aLL mY fReNz wHo hAvE cArEd & wOrRiEd fOr mE.. eRmx.. iM fiNe lArx.. yupp.. jUsT wAnT u gUyS tO sTaY hApPy lOhx.. duN cArE aBt mE le..
Tuesday.
wEnT iNtO tOwN.. lOoK fOr jiNg weN.. oUt oF tOwN. hAhAx.. yupp.. wEnT tO mEeT jiNg weN aT Somerset oNly.. deN wE tOoK tHe tRaiN tO mEeT tHe otHeR 'mEmBeRs oF oUr fAmiLy'.. tix fAmiLy iS fOrMeD bY oUrSelvEs dE lArx.. yupp.. itx a lil gEt-tOgEtHeR b4 i lEaVe lArx.. wE wEnT tO tHe sEletAr rEsErvOiR tO cHaT.. aNd tAk3 LOTX oF pHoToS.. gEez.. duNo wAt gOt iNtO tHeM.. kEeP wAnTiNg tO tAk3 phoToS.. uNtiL mY eYeS aRe sEeiNg sTaRs le lo.. wE tOoK pHoToS iN tHe pArK, aT tHe jEtty, oN tHe wAy tO tHe MRT sTatiOn, aT tHe MRT sTatiOn, oN tHe MRT.. deN aT tHe sTatiOn aGaiN.. hAhAx.. dAt's hOw "hOrRiFyiNg" iT iS..
deN mE & kEviN wAs lAmE tHe wHoLe aFtErNoOn lArx.. hAhAx.. cOmiNg oUt witH aLL tHe "cOlD" jOkEs aNd sTuFF.. aNd wE sOrTa iNflueNcE wEnNiE & juN dA tO sTaRt lAmiNg tOo... hAhAx.. buT tHe lAmE oNeS aRe sTiLL mE & kEviN lArx.. *wiNkz* hAhAx.. mE gOt pRaCtiSe dE mAhx.. *bLeAhx*
bUt aT lEaSt i wAs hApPy yEsTeRdAy lArx.. yupp.. wAs diStRaCtEd froM my pRoBleMs mAhx.. =)
wAs pRetty tiReD wHeN i rEaChEd hOmE.. nEvErtHelEsS.. i wEnT oNliNe.. aNd hEy.. i sHld hAvE gOnE tO rEsT.. hAhAx.. wHy? cOz i fElt liKe i wAs bEiNg "tHrAsHeD" oN.. aS iN iM jUsT tHeRe fOr pEePs tO vEnT tHeiR aNgEr oN loHx.. gEez.. oR aM i tOo sEnSitivE? wAtEvEr lArx.. i diN sTaY lOnG oNliNe tHoUgH.. cOz mY eYeS wAs liKe cLoSiNg liAox.. sO yupp.. wEnT tO sLeEp.
tOdAy.
i diN hAvE niGhtMaReS!! fOr tHe 1st tiMe iN dAyS!!! tHiNk bEcOz iM rEaLLy tiReD yEsTeRdAy bAhx.. yupp! nO dReAms, nO nOthiNg yEsTeRdAy.. jUsT sLePt mY wAy uNtiL mOrNiNg! dAt's rEaLLy cOoL cAn!
oHx.. aCtUaLLy.. iM sUpPoSe tO gO oUt witH jiA liN tO dO sOmE x'MaS sHoPpiNg dE.. buT oH wElls.. sOmEtHiNg cRoPpEd uP aNd i diDn't gO.. yupp.. sOrRy aRx jiA liN!
hMm.. wEnT tO tEaCh my nEiGhBoUr hOw tO uSe tHe cOmPutEr iN tHe eVeNiNg.. kEkE.. tHoSe oF u wHo tHiNk cOmPutEr iS eAsY mUsT uNdErStAnD dAt tHiS nEiGhBoUr oF miNe hAs nEvEr tOuCh tHe cOmPutEr bEfOrE aNd sHe iSn't gOoD iN eNgliSh.. sO dAt mAkEs hEr lEaRniNg hOw tO uSe tHe cOmPutEr a lil hArDeR lArx..
yupp.. sO i wAs tHeRe eXpLaiNiNg pAtiEntly aNd sTuFF.. aNd sHe nOw kNoWs tHe bAsiCs! yAy.. hAhAx.. i fElt i aChEivEd sOmEtHiNg.. sHe mAy bE dRiviNg mE tMr tO hElp hEr witH tHe iNtErNeT sTuFF.. yupp..
oHx oHx.. hEr nOtEbOoK wAs cOoL lArx.. itx mAkE iS Toshiba lArx.. deN iTx eQuiPPeD wiTh aLL tHe kEwL fuNcTiOnS lOhx.. jUsT dAt hEr nOtEbOoK iS a P4.. nOt cEnTriNo.. eLsE itx pErFeCt lo!
hMm.. gOt nOtHiNg tO sAy lE.. hAhAx.. lAtErs, k?
tAk3 cArE!!
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
10:52 PM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
* All I Want For Christmas Is You *
"All I Want For Christmas Is You "
Mariah Carey
I don't want a lot for christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for christmas
Is you...
I don't want a lot for christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa claus won't make me happy
With a toy on christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for christmas is you...
You baby
I won't ask for much this christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the north pole for saint nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for christmas is you
You...
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me
Oh I don't want a lot for christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for christmas is
You
All I want for christmas is you baby[repeat]
gEez.. iM dReAmiNg aGaiN.. hAhAx.. aLtHoUgH i kNoW my wiSh wiLL nEvEr cOmE tRuE lArx.. *bLeAhx* iM gOnNa dReAm aNyWaY..
*hAix* sUpRiSe sUpRiSe.. itx niGhTmArEs fOr mE aGaiN. wOkE uP aT aRd 10 am witH a mAjOr hEaHaChE.. sO i liE iN bEd aLL tHe wAy tO aBt 1 pm.. deN i wEnT dOwN tO my rOoM aNd lOcK mYsElf iN it.. diDn't dO mUcH iNsiDe tHeRe lArx.. jUsT liTsEniNg tO America Top 40 aNd tHiNkiNg aBt sTuFFs.. lOtx oF sTuFFs.. aNd i hAvE cOmE tO cOncLuSiOnS tO sOmE pRoBlEms lArx.. yupp..
deN aFt3r dAt.. i wEnT tO sHoWeR lo.. by tHe tiMe i wEnT uP tO tHe 3rd sToReY tO wAtCh sOmE TV.. itx aLrEaDy 3pm le.. aNd wHeN my mUmMy aSkEd mE sOmEtHiNg.. i rEaLiSeD i diD nOt tAlk aLL mOrNiNg! kiNda kEwL lArx.. =X
hMm.. nOw iM hErE.. wRitiNg mY bLoG aNd cHaNgiNg mY bLoG sOnG aGaiN! i tHiNk i'll puT 'Seasons Of Love' bAcK uP bEfOrE New Year bAhx.. itx nOw 4.48 pm lE.. aNd oF tHe lAsT 40 miNutEs.. i hAvE oNly wRotE sO littlE! gEez.. iM sO nOt mYsElf lAtEly.. pErHaPs i hAvE bEeN tHiNkiNg tOo mUcH bAhx..
oHx oHx.. i duNo iF itx gOoD nEwS oR bAd nEwS lArx.. Shi Yang hAs hiS Visa aPpRoVeD oN fRiDaY.. aNd hE aPpliEd a fEw dAyS lAt3r deN mE lOhx.. hMm.. oKiE lArx.. cOz i cHoOsE nOt tO sTaY iN hOsTeL.. [ iM gOiNg witH mY eLdEsT siS aNd muMmy. . . . . .] aNd dAt hAs mAdE tHe aPpliCatiOn a lil mOrE cOmPliCatEd.. buT tHiS iS tAkiNg a lil tOo lOnG bAhx.. iTx aLmOsT a mOntH liAox.. gEez..
hMm.. i hAvE nEvEr wAntEd tO lEavE sO eArLy lArx.. buT iN liEu oF rEcEnT eVeNts.. i gOt a uRgE tO jUsT lEaVe lo.. kEkE.. i nOe ruNniNg & hiDiNg wiLL nOt sOlvE tHe pRoBleMs.. bUt i tHiNk mY lEaViNg mAy mAkE eVeRyOnE hAppiEr bAhx.. ARGH! i duNo lArx.. iM rEaLLy cOnFuSeD lArx.. *hAix*
wHaTeVeR lArx.. iM nOt dAt iMpT.. i jUz wAnT aLL mY fReNz tO bE hApPy aNd sTaY hApPy.. iTx aLL dAt mAtt3rs lArx.. =)
hOpE eVeRyOnE wiLL hAvE a wOnD3rFuL X'mas tHiS yEaR bAhx.. eNjOy uRsElvEs, yEa?
oHx.. fAnGz.. hAvE fuN iN HK lArx.. tHiNk iT wiLL bE a diFFeReNt buT cOoL eXpEriEnCe tO sPeNd uR X'mas oUt oF S'pore/M'sia fOr tHe 1st tiMe lArx.. 4GeT aBt aLL uR wOrRiEs & pRoBleMs.. aNd eNjOy uR hOliDaY! oHx oHx.. bUy sMtH bAcK fOr mE??!! hAhAx.. *lolx* jOkiNg lArx.. jUsT "Mai Dong Xi, Chi Ding Xi, Mai Dong Xi, Chi Dong Xi.." *wiNkz*
Merry X'mas iN aDvAnCe!
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
4:04 PM
Saturday, December 18, 2004
* wOrRiEd *
fiRst tHiNg fiRsT.. a mEsSaGe tO "Anonymous"..
Hi! "Anonymous.. i BEG u tO t3ll mE wHo u aRe lArx.. tHeRe's a 'dRoP mE a mAiL' liNk uNdEr 'About Me'.. yupp.. wRitE tO mE or sOmEtHiNg? hMm.. i rEaLLy wAnT tO nOe aLL tHe pEePs wHo hAvE bEeN viSitiNg mE bLoG aNd tAggiNg mE, iN tHiS cAsE.. iF u hAvE bEeN rEaDiNg mY bLoG.. u sHld nOe iM nOw iN a sTaTe oF eXtReMe fEaR.. sO yupp.. itx nOw evEn sCaRiEr tO nOe dAt aN "Anonymous" eXiSts.. hEex.. yupp.. tHe pOiNt iS pLeAsE lEt mE nOe wHo u aRe lArx.. tHaNkS iN aDvAnCe aRx.. cOz i nOe u wld tEll mE wHo u aRe, yEa? ^^
aNd tO eVeRyoNe eLsE.. pLeAsE iDeNtiFy uRsElf wHeN u tAg mE lEhx.. yupp.. hOpE tHiS wiLL nOt dEfEr aNyOnE fRoM tAggiNg mE bAhx.. =X hMm.. wEll.. i rEaLLy aPpReCiAtE eVeRy tAg i rEcEivEd lArx.. iM sEriOuS! aNd wHeN u iDeNtiFy uRsElf.. itx mOrE mEaNiNgFuL lArx.. sO.. lEt mE nOe wHo u aRe, k?
hMm.. kEkE.. bAcK tO mE. *hAix* itx niGhtMaReS aGaiN! aNd iM rEaLLy gEttiNg wOrRiEd lArx.. cOz.. i rEaLLy duN wAn tHiNgS tO turN oUt tHe sAmE wAy aS mY niGhtMaRes. *hAix* buT i gUeSs itx aLL mY fAuLt lArx.. yupp.. i hAvE oNly gOt mYsElf tO bLaMe iF my 'dReAmS cOmE tRuE'.. gEez.. iM sO sArCaStiC.. >.<
hMm.. i jUz diScOvErEd dAt pLayiNg gAmEs mAy nOt rEaLLy hElp tO mAkE oNe rElAx aNd fEeliNg bEtt3r.. cOz.. aFtEr pLayiNg GB tHiS aFtErNoOn.. i rEaLLy hAtE mYsElf! wHy? iN tHe 5 gAmEs i pLayEd.. i lOsT 4 gAmEs.. aNd mY tEaM wAs gReAt! itx wAs mE lArx.. tHe oPpOnEnT wAs riGht iN fRoNt oF mE! aNd i miSsEd! i duNo wAt i wAs tHiNkiNg oR dOiNg lArx.. tO tHiNk iM a bAttLe-AxE! *hAix* i'll nOt aSk mY fReNz tO gO pLaY gAmE wHeN tHeY aRe nOt fEeliNg hApPy aGaiN lo..
hMm.. tHiNk Ch 5 wiLL bE sHowiNg "You've Got Mail!" lAtEr.. i gOnNa cAtCh iT lArx.. eHx? i nOe tHe sToRyliNe a lil.. aNd iT sEts mE tHiNkiNg.. iF i hAvE kEpt tHiNgs tO jUsT a oNliNe mAtt3r.. oR rAtHer.. iF i hAvE nOt gEt iNtO tHiS cyBeR wOrLd.. mAyBe.. mAyBe.. i'll hAvE lEsS pRoBleMs.. mAyBe lArx..*hAix* itx mEaNiNgLeSs tAlkiNg aBt tHiS nOw lArx.. cOz.. iM sTiLL gLaD dAt itx tHe cyBeR wOrLd dAt hAvE givEn mE a cHaNcE tO nOe sOmE gReAt fReNz.. eSpC.. oH wElls..
itx nOw 9 pm le.. i cAn't bEliEvE i aCtuAlly sPeNt 40 miNutEs sUcH a sHoRt eNtRy.. wAt's tHe mAttEr witH mE? *SHRUGS*
k lArx.. duN hAvE tHe mOoD tO gO oN aNyMoRe.. u gUyS tAk3 cArE hOrx..
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
8:14 PM
Friday, December 17, 2004
yupp! dAt's wAt a yEaR iS aLL aBt, iSn't iT? jUsT aNotHer 525,600 miNutEs.. itx aS eAsY aS tHaT! cOoL, ritE?
*hAix* iF oNly i rEaLLy cAn bE sO 'Xiao Sha' deN i wiLL bE hAppiEr le... buT lEttiNg tHiNgs gO iSn't dAt eAsy lArx.. nO.. itx diFFicult lo.. eSpEciAlly wHeN iM a lil sEnsitivE, eMoTiOnaL & sEntiMeNtAl.. >.<
okok.. iM wiErD.
hMm.. 2004 iS cOmiNg tO aN eNd le.. aNd tO tHiNk i aLwAyS pRoCrAstiNatE.. aNd nOt bEiNg dAriNg aT tiMeS lArx.. yupp.. hMm.. iM nOw tHiNkiNg wHat wld hAvE hAppeN iF i hAve tHe gutS aNd dO wHaT i wAnt, wHaT i fEeL iMmEdiAteDly.. aLL tHe wAy.. pErHaPs tHiNgs wiLL bE diFFeReNt? *REGRETS*
a lil iNtRo oN tHe sOnG iM pLayiNg.. hMm.. iTx a sOnG dAt RENT - A Broadway Musical uSeS lArx.. itx sEeMs a niCe mUsiCaL lArx.. sO gO cAtCh iT iF pOsSiBle, k? iM tRyiNg tO sEe iF i cAn gEt mY hAnDs oN tHe sOft cOpiEs oF tHe mUsiCaL.. =X
2004 iS a hArD yEaR fOr mE.. eSpEciAlly wHeN itx eNdiNg.. mOrE pRoBleMs sEeMs tO bE gEnErAtiNg.. aS iF i duN hAvE eNuF pRoBleMs aLrEaDy.. gEez.. iTx cOoL tO nOe dAt iM sTiLL suRviviNg lArx.. hAvE tO tHaNk gOd fOr tHiS.. sO yupp! tHaNkEw! wEll.. aLtHoUgH '04 hAvE givEn mE quitE aLoT oF uNplEaSaNt mOmEnTs.. iM glAd i sTiLL hAvE mY owN sHaRe oF sWeEt mOmEnTs.. =) but gOoD tHiNgS duN lAst lAr.. .. ..
iM fEeliNg sCaRed rEcEntly.. aFtEr tHe cO-iNciDeNtaL eVeNts.. i hAvE niGhtMaRE eVeRynigHt lo.. aNd tHe dReAmS aRe sO hOrRibLe.. yEt sO rEaliStiC.. *hAix* it mAkEs mE duN wAnNa sLeEp lArx.. i hAvE bEeN gOiNg tO beD aT 3 am.. 4 am.. fOr wEeKs liAox.. aNd i hAvE eNouGh oF tEaRiNg tO sLeEp lArx.. but.. oH wElls.. wAt tO dO?
itx wiErD dAt pEePs cOmE tO mE wHeN tHeY hAvE pRoBleMs. dO i lOoK liKe sOmEoNe wHo iS sO hApPy witH liFe? itx eVeN mOrE riDiCuLoUs tO nOe tHaT i cOmFoRtEd 2 fReNz wHo hAvE sOmE pRoBleMs witH tHeiR lOvE liFe tHiS wEeK lo.. "-- itx sO diaOx lo.. i duN rEaLLi wAnT tO dO all tHiS.. *hAix* sO wAt iF iM dEeMeD aS a gReAt litSeNeR/sOmE oNe wHo eNcOuRaGes by mY fReNz? i cAn't eVeN sOlvE mY pRoBleMs! aNd tHeY aRe rEaLLy piliNg up....
*hAix* i duNo wAt tO sAy le.. gEttiNg a lil eMotiOnAl aNd aGitAtEd le.. sO i tHiNk i bEtt3r sToP.. hMm.. hOpE my eNtRy diDn't diStuRbEd aNyOnE oF u.. yupp..
Measure My Life In Love?
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
10:46 PM
Thursday, December 16, 2004
YOU
"You can hide the pain that you feel and make others believe that you can move on. But you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person is still the person you'll always choose to love."
CrEditS: Ms Yap Lee Fang
yupp.. i sAw tHiS qUotE at fAnGz's bLoG.. hMm.. mOdiFiEd it aBit lArx.. wE mUsT aDaPt mAhx.. ritE? hAhAx..
oHx oHx.. fAnGz.. hOpE u duN miNd lArx.. k?
hMm.. duN rEaLLy nOe wAt tO sAy.. oHx.. i rEaLiSeD dAt tHe cO-iNciDeNcE iS nOt sCaRy eNuF.. itx wAt gOiNg tO hApPeN aFtEr tHaT dAt's REALLY sCaRy.. gEez.. hAd a niGhtmArE lAst nitE. *hAix*
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
1:37 PM
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
* FREAKED out *
i tOtAlly fReAkEd ouT jUsT nOw cAn!!
cO-iNcideNcE aRe sOmEtiMeS tOo SCARY fOr mE tO aCcEpt it. hOw sCaRy? i wAs aCtUaLLy fEeLiNg cOld wHeN tHe aiR-cOn iS nOt eVeN oN yEt! yupp.. i wEnT tO tOuCh my siStA's hAnD.. aNd sHe wAs sUpRiSeD aT hOw cOld i aM deN sHe cOmPlaiNeD dAt sHe's feEliNg wArM.
yupp.. itx dAt sCaRy..
fOrtuNaTeLy.. i diD nOt fAiNt. *pHeW* yupp.. iM wEaK.
i hAtE my siXtH sEnSe tOo.. hOw tO gEt riD oF it?
*hAix* miGhT aS wEll tHiNgs gO tHiS wAy.. aT lEaSt itx a hApPy eNdiNg fOr tHeM. yupp.. i sHld bE fEeliNg hApPy fOr tHeM. =)
yupp.. aS i hAvE sAiD pReviOuSly.. iM gOnNa lEt tHe dReAm rEmAiN a dReAm. hEys! dReAms aRe bEautiFuL..
i'll bE fiNe. i wiLL sUrvivE.
oHx oHx.. i gOt a pErSoNaL cOuNsElloR! *wiNkz* tHiS iS tHe 3rd oNe.. but hMm.. itx diFfErEnT. tHe pReviOuS 2.. aRe aSsiGnEd tO mE by tHe sChOoL.. yupp.. aNd fOr tHe 3rd oNe.. i aSsiGnEd mySelf. hAhAx.. buT i gUeSs.. i'll sTiLL bE aN iNtRovErT.
yupp.. itx sCaRy eNoUgH.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
11:59 AM
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
* My Soul *
I am truly passionate.
Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.
You're excited about life and in touch with yourself and nature.
Virtues: You appreciate humor like none other. Puns might even spark laughter in you (TEHY R FUNNI). You seek adventure and connection with your surroundings. You seek friends who will not only share laughs with you but actually form a deep bond of trust and empathy beneath the surface. You look for adventure and courage in people, and variation is necessary to keep you under control. You see yourself as multi-faceted, so you need people who can see you in your many lights. You're constantly trying to figure yourself out while analyzing the people around you. Silly, silly people.
Aspirations: You can't decide what you want to be yet, but you know you want it to be adventures and interesting, with constant changes. You don't know what love will do for you yet, but it's competing with adventure for a place in your heart. An internal conflict has begun: can you be a successful worker, lover, and parent all at once?
Quirks: Noise of any sort is irritating when you're in the mood. Smacking gum, loud chewing, humming- it's about as pleasing as bodily noises. You dislike emaciated people because of jealousy and just plain disgust. You're a procrastinator but a hard worker, too.
Factors: You need constant attention and support. You're high-maintnence, but a great, reliable friend. Nature needs you and you need nature; it's helped thus far, so keep in touch with the outside world.
Future: Who knows! You absolutely need constant change, so vacationing is surely in the cards. Will you settle down or not? Love will find you eventually, as it does to everyone. Will you choose the sweet home life or the rewarding busy-bee life?
kEkE.. iTx rEaLLy aCcUrAtE lArx.. likE 85% oF it iS liKe tOkiNg aBt mE lo. hOw fReAky? hAhAx. mAnY oF mY fReNz aRe pOsTiNg tHeiR aNaLysiS uP.. sO i tHouGht.. hEy! i sHld pOsT miNe uP tOo! sO yupp! mAyBe u gUyS cAn tAg mE tO tEll mE iF iTx aCcUrAtE? *bLeAhx*
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
1:10 PM
Monday, December 13, 2004
~ itx all just words ~
Being Alone Can Only Feel Good If You Know There's People Who Cares About You.
Happiness Is Simply Just Having Good Health & A Poor Memory.
It Breaks Your Heart To See The One You Love Is Happy With Someone Else... But It's More Painful To Know That The One You Love Is Unhappy With You
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
10:08 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
. . .
Who Will You Talk To When You Feel Lost, If The Only One You Feel Like Talking To Is The One Making You Lost?
Did You Know That Those Who Spend Their Time Protecting Others Are The Ones That Really Need Some One To Protect Them?
All Love That Has No Friendship For Its Base, Is Like A Mansion Built Upon The Sand.
pEaCe oUt~
I am truly passionate. Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.
still the same.|
4:44 AM
Saturday, December 11, 2004
*hAix*
i hAvE dEciDeD tO lEt tHe dReAm rEmAiN a dReAm.
yupp.
aS loNg aS u aRe hApPy.. deN.. Wo Shi Xing Fu De
yupp.
aLL tHe bEsT tO u bAhx. i wiSh tHe 2 oF u hApPiNeSs. i nOe u wiLL bE hApPy lArx. ^^
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
11:39 PM
Friday, December 10, 2004
WAKE UP!
yupp.. STOP DREAMING!
a dream is just a dream.
i give up.
peace out~
still the same.|
1:27 PM
Monday, December 06, 2004
~ I DREAM ~
"I Dream"
Taufik Batisah & Sylvester Sim
In my mind
I can climb
All the mountains that surround me
My spirit's there where eagles dare to fly
In my heart
there's a spark
that can light the world
and open door where I am sure dreams are
Doesn't matter if I win
or the color of my skin
coz this race is all about believing in yourself
I dream
I can run
like the wind and be strong
when my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be the hero that's in me
I dream
I'll dream
There's a time in your life
where the odds are so against you
there's no defeat if all you keep is pride
First I'm last
Slow or fast
there's a dignity that makes you
keep driving on when doors have come apart
Doesn't matter rich or poor
or the things you've done before
coz this race is all about believing in yourself
I dream
I can run
like the wind and be strong
when my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be the hero that's in me
I dream
I'll dream
of a moment that forever will be golden
when the torch is passed
only dreams will last
that is shared by everyone
I dream
I can run
like the wind and be strong
when my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be the hero that's in me
I dream
I'll dream
I'll dream of you
hMm.. i cAmE oUt witH tHe lyRiCs aFtEr liTsEniNg tO tHe rAdiO aNd tHe sOnG oNliNe..
yuPp! iM DAT fReE.. hAhAx.. aNd.. duN cOmE aFtEr mE iF tHe lyRiCs aRe wRoNg hOr.. huMaNs dO mAkE miStAkEs, ritE?
oHx oHx.. i'll givE u gUyS tHe liNk tO liTsEn tO tHe sOnG lArx.. cOz i sTiLL wAnT mY Delta Goodrem's mUsiC.. hEex.. *bLeAhx*
http://sparklette.net/clicks/click.php?id=18
tHoSe witH bRoAdBaNd cOnNeCtiOn sHld bE aBlE tO hEaR tHe sOnG witHoUt mUcH pRoBleM lArx.. yupp! tHoSe wHo wAnT oThEr sOnGs liKe "Me & Mrs Jones".. jUz cOntAcT mE bAhx.. yupp!
eNjOy tHe sOnG lo..
oHx oHx.. tHoSe wHo sAiD iM rEsOuRcEfuL.. iM nOt lArx! iM jUz tOo fReE! hAhAx *bLeAhx*
pEaCe oUt~
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Story: What I Did For Love
**********
Part 15
**********
I woke up the next morning with this strange feeling inside me. I don't know why but I find it disturbing. Then I remembered that Ji Won and I are going to get married soon, it subsided. When I went downstairs, my stepmom was holding that wooden stick I haven't seen in years. I began to panic. She whacked me with it. I fell down surprised.
"Where's Ji Won?" she screamed at me.
I was so confused and surprised I didn't know what she was talking about. She kept hitting me and telling me to answer her. But how can I answer when I don't even know myself? Then something unusual happened. My dad grabbed the stick away from my stepmom.
"Stop hitting her! Can't you tell that she can't think straight through all that pain?"
My stepmom was shocked and she kept her mouth shut because my dad never did that to her before. "Mina," my dad said to me, holding my hand. "Ji Won ran away from home again. He's no longer in Hawaii and the wedding's canceled.”
"He left?" I asked blankly.
My dad nodded his head sadly. "How can he leave me?" I asked standing up. My stepmom's next words hit me hard and cold like ice.
"He probably left because he didn't want to marry you."
I sunk to my knees and fell to the floor. I began to sob to myself. My parents left the room, leaving me alone. 'How can you leave me, Ji Won? Were all those promises of taking care of me lies?' I loved Ji Won so much. All I ever wanted is to be with him, even if he did only consider me as a dongsang. I needed to know why he left. Being with him all this time, I knew where he went. I’ll search all of Korea if I had to...
One year later…
During this year, my life of hell had return. I managed to save up enough money for a ticket to Korea and money to spend. I had to work odd hours so my stepmom wouldn't find out or she'll take the money from me. I also had to sell some of Ji Won's gifts to me. He was a really generous oppa who would buy me a lot of expensive clothes, jewelry, perfume, and just about anything that I wanted. I figured he wouldn't mind because they're just material possessions. They were a big help because I managed to trade them in for a lot of money.
July 24, 1997
I finally had enough money to leave. It took me a while to go because I knew chances are low of finding Ji Won right away. I needed extra money for my search and I had to pay double for a fake I.D. You could say that I have almost everything planned out. I got a pretty good amount so I planned on leaving today.
It's been a little over a year since Ji Won left me with no reason or explanation. I've gotten so much thinner because I couldn't eat or sleep and I miss him so much. The problem I still had facing me were my parents. I know they were not going to let me leave. I was only 17. Damn. Still a minor. This year had been total hell for me and I can't stand another year of it. I had to leave and I had a plan. I was going to fake my death.
It was all so perfect. My family had to go out to a luau with Mr. Eun. He still keeps in touch with us. I guess it's because he thinks I might know where Ji Won is. Truth is, I have no idea except I know Ji Won's somewhere in Korea.
I planned to fake a drowning. Because of my heart failure, it helped me close off my air circulation for up to 4 minutes. This time I am using it to let my family think that I have drowned and the tides drifted my body to sea so I will never be found...
But before I go I had to say goodbye to my father. I hugged him hard. He looked at me surprised.
"What was that for?" he asked.
I shook my head. "It wasn’t for anything dad. I did it because I love you."
My dad had tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry Mina. I'm so worthless as your father."
"No you're not but you have to do what's right dad. Don't let anyone stop you and stop putting yourself down."
He nodded his head. I hugged him for the last time. "I'm going for a swim okay?" He nodded his head and watched me head toward the ocean. The plan went perfect. I stayed underwater for a while and swam myself to the other side of the beach where they couldn't see me. All my belongings were there. I got on the dock and sailed to the mainland airport leaving Hawaii forever...
still the same.|
4:16 PM
Saturday, December 04, 2004
* tiReD ... lOnEly *
hMm.. i sHoWeReD 2 tiMes witHiN 90 miNs tHiS aFtErNoOn.. i'll tEll u wHy..
i wEnT tO sHowEr at aBt 12 lArx.. aFtEr wHiCh i wEnT dwN tO tHe liviNg rOoM tO rEaD tHe cHiNeSe dAiLy.. yupp! deN.. my muMmy dEciDeD tO dO sOmE gArdEniNg sTuFF lArx.. it'S aCtUaLLy mOrE oF cLeAniNg up lo..
deN.. my mAiD, siSt3r & mE hAvE tO hElp mAhx.. wAt diD i hAvE tO dO? mOviNg fLoWeR pOts cOz muMmy wAnT tO wAsH tHe aReA oR sMth.. kEkE.. tHe BEST pArT wAs dAt i hAvE tO cArRy tHe pOts oF fLoWeR fRoM tHe 2nd sToRey de bAlCoNy dwN tO tHe 1st sToReY lo!! hMm.. i wAs cOoL witH tHe fiRst 2 pOts lArx.. deN aS i cArRy mOrE aNd mOrE.. i rEaLLy cAn't tAk3 it lOhx.. hAhAx.. i deN rEaliSeD hOw wEaK i aM! yuPp.. i wAs sO tiReD aNd sTuFF lArx.. sO i sToPpEd hElpiNg aBt 30 miNs lAtEr lo.. 30 miNs oF cArRyiNg pOts rEaLLy gOt mE aChiNg aLL OvEr lArx! kEkE.. i sHld nOt bE cOmPlaiNiNg.. aT lEaSt i duN hAvE tO cArRy tHe pOts fRoM tHe 3rd sToReY de bAlcOnY, ritE? hAhAx.. gEez.. i hAvE a nEw yEaR rEsOlutiOn liAox.. dAt iS tO hiT tHe gyM oFteNly nExT yEaR! hAhAx.. gOttA gRoW sTrOngEr aBit! *bLeAhx*
sO.. aFt3r hElpiNg.. i rEsTeD aBit & wEnT tO sHowEr aGaiN lo.. cOz i wAs aLL sWeAty aNd diRty lo..
hMm.. iM rEaLLi bOrEd at hOmE lArx.. aCtuAlly.. i feEl lOnEly aLrEaDy lo.. yuPp.. fReNz wHoM i pEsTeReD at MSN.. sOrRiE lArx.. iM rEaLLi siAnx mAhx.. wHaT's wiErd iS dAt i sEeMs tO bE tHe mOsT fReE oNe lo.. *hAix* i mUsT bE tHe mOsT iRritAtiNg pErSoN tO mY fReNz nOw bAhx.. hAhAx.. eSpEciAlly tHoSe wHo i ALWAYS wAntEd tO cHaT witH de lo.. kEkE.. buT i gOt tRy tO cOnTrOl mYsElf de lo.. iF i sEnSe tHe pErSoN duN wAn tO rEpLy mE liAox.. deN i aLsO duN dArE tO cHaT liAox lo.. *hAix* duNiO wHy.. iM gEttiNg qUitE dEpReSsEd lEhx.. gEttiNg a lil iNsAnE le... eHz? wAt aM i tOkiNg? CRAP!
oHx oHx.. tHe wEaThEr hAs bEeN rEaLLy hOt rEcEntly lArx.. aNd lOtx oF pEePs aRe gEttiNg iLL.. sO u gUyS.. bEtt3r dRiNk mOrE wAt3r hOx.. aNd hAv3 lOtx oF rEsT.. dAt's wAt i hAvE aLwAys tEll u gUyS mAhx.. kEkE.. dRiNk mOrE wAt3r deN uSuAl lArx.. duN wAnT tO sEe aNyOnE oF u iLL.. yuPp.. tAk3 cArE hOr..
pEaCe oUt~
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Story: What I Did For Love
**********
Part 14
**********
Back at home I was so excited I couldn't sleep. I know I was still young to be thinking about marriage but I know Ji Won is the only guy for me. I held my teddy bear close as thoughts of Ji Won drifted me to sleep.
It was midnight now. Ji Won snuck out of his house quietly without making a noise. He carried his backpack full of money on his back. He planned to go to Mina's house to grab her and leave. Then it would be just him, Mina, and Sung Hoon leaving together. He was almost to Mina's house when he realized that he was being followed.
It was his uncle's men. They came to get rid of him. Ji Won was smart. He knew the streets too well. He made it through the alley and those men end up losing him. But when Ji Won reached Mina's house, about 10 men had surrounded her house. They all saw him approaching. Ji Won began to ran as they chased him. He made it to the dock. He saw Sung Hoon on the boat.
"Hyung! Hurry! The boat is leaving!"
Ji Won threw his bag onto the boat first and made a high jump. He landed safely onto the boat. His uncle's men couldn't chase him anymore. Ji Won and Sung Hoon started cheering until Ji Won realized what was missing. Mina. He had left her. Ji Won fell to his knees.
"What's wrong?" asked Sung Hoon.
"Mina! We left her! We have to go back!" yelled Ji Won.
Sung Hoon opened his mouth in shock because he just realized it too. Then he shook his head sadly. "We can't. If we go back, we'll just get killed and we'll be putting Mina's life in danger too.” Ji Won moved away from Sung Hoon, knowing that the darkness will cover his face. And for the first time in his life, Ji Won cried.
still the same.|
11:05 PM
Thursday, December 02, 2004
* Lost Without You*
"Lost Withou You"
Delta Goodrem
I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out
I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong
All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you
How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind
Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say
All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you
If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can't stop the tears from running down my face
Oh
All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you
fiNaLLy.. i cHaNgEd tHe sOnG fOr mY bLoG.. hMm.. i hEaRd tHiS sOnG fRoM sOmEwHeRe aNd i tHoUgHt iT rEfleCts hOw i feEl sOmEhOw lo.. hEex.. yuPp.. aNd tHiS sOnG iS pReTtY niCe lArx!
hEex.. hOpE u gUyS wiLL eNjOy tHe sOnG tOo lArx... yuPp!
hMm.. tOdAy iS rEaLLy bOriNg fOr mE lArx! it'S rEaLLy siAnx lo! hMm.. wEnT oUt witH mUmMy tO tHe hYpErMaRkEt iN tHe mOrNiNg.. deN i jUsT pUsH tHe tRoLLey lo.. aNd hElp tO cArRy tHiNgS hOmE lo.. hEex..
i rEaChEd hOmE aT 11+ am.. deN i sAt iN fRoNt oF tHe cOmPutEr fOr tHe wHoLe aFtErNoOn uNtiL i gOt tiReD aNd tOoK a nAp lo.. iT's bOriNg, ritE?
oHx oHx! Hotmail nOw givEs iT's uSeR 250 MB sToRaGe sPaCe! aiN't dAt cOoL?! hEex.. deN i duN niD tO bOtHeR aBt Gmail fOr tHe tiMe bEiNg liAox.. yuPp..
aNd i hAvE aLsO lEarNeD dAt Yahoo! aCcOuNtS cAn uSe MSN mEsSeNgEr tOo! yuPp! iT's sO wiErD, ritE? i diDn't nOe dAt uNtiL XW aDdEd mE lArx! gEeZ.. sO i hAvE oNe Yahoo! uSeR uNdEr mY MSN cOntAcTs liAox.. hEex..
hMm.. i aLsO dEletEd sOmE oF mY cOntActS lArx.. tHoSe wHo aRe rArEly oNliNe & tHoSe wHo i duN rEaLLy tOk tO lArx.. yuPp.. sOrRiE hOrx.. hMm.. u gUyS cAn sTiLL mSg mE lArx.. cOz i diDn't bLoCk mAhx.. yuPp.. sOrRiE oNcE aGaiN.. *hAix* iT's a tOuGh jOb mAnAgiNg cOntAcTs!
eHz.. i litSeNeD tO aLoT oF sOnGs tOdAy lArx! cOz iM rEaLLy siAnx mAhx.. kEkE.. aNd gUeSs wAt.. sOmE sOnGs nEaRly cAuSeD mE tO tEaR lo.. gEez.. iM tOo eMoTiOnAl bAhx.. yuPp! mUsT cHaNgE mUsT cHaNgE!! hAhAx..
*bLeAhx* aCtUaLLy i hAvE nOtHiNg tO wRitE lArx.. sO iM bAsiCaLLy jUz cRaPpiNg! hAhAx.. kEkE..
pEaCe oUt~
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Story: What I Did For Love
**********
Part 13
**********
Years had pass and I'm still with Ji Won. I didn't think it was possible but I grew more and more in love with Ji Won everyday. We would do a lot of stuff together and we never had any fights. We argue, but it never came to the point where we would get really mad at each other and he usually let me have it my way.
Kang Sung Hoon was Ji Won's other friend and he hangs out with us a lot too. Sung Hoon is a little older than me and is really nice. He has this really cute smile that when he smiles, you can't help but smile back. I called him 'bang geul ee.' His family life also isn't good. His dad is a drunk and his mom had passed away when he was young. So usually it was the three of us together.
My home life is a lot better thanks to Ji Won. My stepmom didn't dare to touch me anymore and it's still the same between me and my dad. We don't talk much. Ji Won's parents like me a lot too. It's because when they tell Ji Won to do something and he wouldn't do it. They would come to me. I'm kind of like their pawn. Life was heaven for me until it completely shattered on day.
It started out with good news but who would have known it would end up in tragedy?
June 15, 1996
My stepmom and dad came home one day from visiting the Euns. "Guess what?" my stepmom told me excitedly.
"What?" I asked calmly.
"The Euns are planning a wedding for you and Ji Won!"
I sat down because my knees gave out. This news hit me with total surprise but I was so happy to hear it because I’m so in love with Ji Won. "Really?" I asked excitedly? "How did this happened?"
"Mr. Eun wanted Ji Won to get married and he figured you’re the girl he should marry."
"What did Ji Won say?" I had to ask. I didn't want him to be forced into this.
"Of course he agreed," she answered.
My breathing increased so I took out my respirator. After I calmed down, my stepmom took me into her room and told me all about the arrangements.
Meanwhile back at the Eun mansion...
"Just because you’re making this wedding for me and Mina doesn't mean I owe you anything!" Ji Won yelled angrily at his dad.
Mr. Eun grabbed Ji Won by the collar of his shirt. "Ji Won! You listen to me. Once you and Mina get married, your grandpa will give you all of his businesses. Sharing part of it with your dad isn’t asking for much is it?" Ji Won pushed his dad away. He began to laugh. "The only two people grandpa will give the businesses to is me or uncle. He won't give it to you because you’ll spend it all on those whores! I bet all your money is gone now."
It was true. Mr. Eun was in serious debt and he needed Ji Won to get married because Ji Won's grandpa was going to give Ji Won his inheritance once he gets married. Ji Won had just turned 18 and his dad had planned the marriage months ahead. His dad got on his knees. "Please son. Please do it for me."
Ji Won rolled his eyes. "You're so pathetic dad." He sighed. Living with Mina taught him compassion and sympathy for people. "I'll see what I can do dad." He went into his room. Just then his cellular phone rang. He picked it up, thinking it was Mina. Using his sexy voice, he whispered, "Hi Mina."
A weird high-pitched giggle came from the other end of the line.
"Ooh..." said the voice. "Hi to you too sexy."
Ji Won rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up Sung Hoon."
Using his real voice, Sung Hoon began to laugh out loud. "Gross hyung! That's how you talk to Mina? Ew! It gives me the chills!"
"Hey Sung Hoon," said Ji Won seriously. "Is everything set and ready to go?"
"Yeah hyung," said Sung Hoon.
"Good," said Ji Won, smiling. "Meet me at the docks tonight. From there we can sail to the mainland airport and get away from Hawaii to start a new life in Korea."
"Yeah," said Sung Hoon. "But did you tell Mina about it?"
"No," answered Ji Won, sighing. "I'm afraid she won't leave her family. I'm planning to just kidnap her and take her along. It's easier that way and no hassle."
"Right," said Sung Hoon. "At least the three of us will still be together."
"Yeah," said Ji Won. "Meet you in an hour. Get everything ready. I got our money too."
"Okay," replied Sung Hoon.
"Bye." Ji Won clicked off his phone. Ji Won's dad didn't know it but his grandpa had given him $10 million in advance, along with hotel ownerships in Korea and Hawaii as his wedding gift. He planned to leave his dad $5 million and live off the rest with Mina and Sung Hoon. He smiled thinking about how he would get away from everything and just be with the one he loved the most, Mina.
still the same.|
9:16 PM
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
* fReAky dAy *
*yAwNz* wOkE uP eArLy tHiS mOrNiNg tO fAx sOmE dOcuMeNts OvEr tO tHe rEaL eStAtE aGeNt iN Australia.. cOz wE sAw oNe hOuSe wE aRe hApPy witH lArx.. buT gUeSs wAt? wHeN i rEaCh hOmE tHe aGeNt cAlleD aNd sAiD...
"Im Sorry but the house is no longer available. It has been rented out yesterday."
dOtdOtdOt.. aNd tHe aGeNt diDn't tEll mE dAt tHe hOuSe wiLL bE gOiNg oUt sOoN lo.. aRgHx.. i tHiNk i'll lOoK fOr a hOuSe wHeN i rEaChEd tHeRe lo.. mUmMy sAiD wE wiLL cHeCkEd iN aT a hOtEl uNtiL wE fOuNd a hOuSe.. gEeZ.. wHaT a hAsSle.. >.<
oHx.. my viSa iS iN tHe fiNaL sTaGeS fOr aPpRoVaL.. mY hEaLtH cHeCks aNd sTuFF hAs aLrEaDy bEeN aPpRovEd aNd nOw.. tHeY jUz hAvE tO cHeCk iF mY wElFaRe wiLL bE tAkEn cArE oF oR sMtH b4 tHeY iSsuE mE mY viSa..hEy! iS dAt a gOoD nEwS oR a bAd nEwS? i gUeSs iT's pRettY bAd bAhx.. cOz muMmY sAiD dAt wE'll lEaVe sOoN aFtEr wE gEt oUr viSa! *bLeAhx*
hMm.. i sLaCkEd mY wHoLe aFtErNoOn aWaY lArx.. qUitE siAnx lo.. oHx, hAvE tO tHaNk cHeRiSe fOr bEcOmiNg mY hAiR cOnSuLtAnT.. *lolx* bEiNg fAsHiOn sAvVy.. i gOt hEr tO aNsWeR mAnY oF mY qUeStiOnS oN hAiR dyEiNg! yuPp.. tHiNgs likE wHeRe, pRiCe aNd sTuFF! nO-nO.. iM nOt dyEiNg mY hAiR lArx! mY cOlleGe iS aGaiNsT iT aNyWaY.. jUz aSkiNg fOr a fReNz lo.. tHaNks gUrL, fOr aNsWeRiNg aLL mY qUeStiOnS! yuPp.. tHaNkEw! *gRiNz*
oHx.. wAt fReAks mE oUt iS dAt i nEaRly fEll tO mY dEatH! yuPp! kEkE.. i wEnT dwNsTaiRs tO tHe kiTcHeN tO gEt a driNk & i rAn bAcK uP tO mY cOmPutEr lo.. deN aT tHe lAsT lAnDiNg, i tRiPpEd!! fOrtuNatEly, i fEll fOrWaRd oNtO tHe lAnDiNg lArx..! *pHeW* dAt wAs cLoSe lArx!
hEex.. tHe iCe iN mY cUp gOt sPiLLeD aLL oVeR lArx.. buT deN mY muM hEaRd nOiSeS fRoM tHe 3rd sToRey.. aNd ruShEd tO tHe sTaiRwAys tO sEe mE sittiNg oN tHe lAnDiNg lo.. hEex.. deN sHe hElpEd mE cLeAnEd tHe mEsS uP lArx! hEex.. kEkE.. aNd sHe sUrE lOoK fRigHtEnEd.. hAhAx.. buT i fElt wArMtH lArx! yuPp.. iT's gReAt tO nOe dAt mUmMy cArEs sO mUcH lo.. aNd hEy! i gOt mY dRiNk wHiLe rEstiNg iN fRoNt oF mY cOmPutEr!! hEex.. tHaNkx MuM! =P
hMm.. wAtChEd S'pore Idol jUz nOw lArx.. i aCtuAlly fOrGot aBt iT lo.. sO i miSsEd tHe fiRsT sOnGs.. buT NvMx lArx.. American Idol iS bEttEr lo.. tHe sTaNdArD iS jUz tHeRe.. hMm.. S'pore Idol iS aS gOoD aS M'sian Idol lArx.. yuPp!
oHx.. i tHoUgHt Dick Lee diD a pRettY gOoD jOb wRaPpiNg uP tHe sHoW witH hiS pErFoRmAnCe lArx.. hEex.. hMm.. fOr tHe rEsUlts sHow.. jEsSeA, dAviD & dApHnE cAmE bAcK! hAhAx.. tHeY aRe mY fAvOuRitEs lArx.. buT tHeY gOt oUt oFF tHe rAcE.. iN dAt oRdEr.. *huMpHx*
hMm.. tHe rEsUlt sHoW iS aLL sOnGs aNd sTuFF.. aNd tHe rEsUlt oNly cAmE oUt aT 10.40pm! *dOtx* yuPp.. aNd Taufik gOt tHe S'pore Idol lArx.. gEeZ.. WHATEVER! hAhAx.. i duN liKe bOtH oF tHeM lo...
hMm.. jUdgiNg fRoM tHe lEnGtH oF mY eNtRy.. u sHld nOe hOw fReE i aM, ritE? hAhAx.. kEkE.. u gUyS tAkE cArE!
pEaCe oUt~
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Story: What I Did For Love
**********
Part 12
**********
I was confused and didn't know what had happened. Ji Won held my hand and took me to the beach near his house. On the sand there were these 2 huge rocks. Ji Won led me over there. He lifted me up and we sat side by side. We remained silent until Ji Won took a deep breath of the ocean air.
"I love this place, don't you?" he said to me smiling. I returned his smile and held onto his hand tighter. "Ji Won, what's wrong?" Ji Won avoided my eyes. "Nothing." I turned his chin to face me. "Come on, you know you can tell me." He nodded.
"It's my dad and this stupid feud he has with my uncle. They're fighting over who will get the larger part in my grandpa's will."
"Oh..." I said softly.
"Isn’t it stupid?" he asked laughing. "My grandpa’s not even dead yet!"
I understood what was bothering him. So I didn't say anything because I know he doesn't want me to worry about it. He threw a rock into the ocean and it skipped three times. "Perfect" he said. "Why is it perfect?" I asked. "Age ain't nothing but a number right?" he asked me, changing the subject. I thought about it for a while and nodded.
"Since I'm older than you by two years, that makes me your oppa," Ji Won said to me.
"Yupp"I answered, smiling.
Ji Won smiled back. "I love you..."
I felt my heart my heart filled with a bubble of love but then Ji Won continued talking.."as a dongsang." My bubble bursted. This was not what I had expected him to say.
I stared at Ji Won with wide eyes. I knew it was pretty forward of me but I had to ask. "Y...your...dongsang?" I managed to stutter out. Ji Won looked back at me with his puppyish eyes and smiled. He nodded his head gently. Have I been reading all his signs wrong?
"So what do you say?" he asked. "Want to be my dongsang?" Even though it was breaking my heart, I had no choice but to agree. I nodded. "Yes, I want to be your dongsang oppa."
"Good," he said.
Ji Won nodded and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small silver knife. I stared at him with wide eyes. "Ji Won, what are you going to do with that knife?" He asked, "Do you trust me Mina?" I nodded my head without hesitation. I trusted Ji Won with my whole heart. He smiled at me. "Good. Lower the back of your shirt." Ji Won pulled the back of my shirt down. Then he used that knife to cut me. "Ow!" I screamed in pain but he continued anyways. He carved a small 'E' onto my shoulder blade. My back was bleeding and he bandaged it for me.
Then he handed the knife to me. "Here. Engrave your initial 'M' too cuz I don't want to use the same last name as your mom." My hand trembled as I held the knife. I didn't want to hurt Ji Won. "Go ahead. Don't worry, I can stand the pain." I engraved an 'M' onto Ji Won's back. I was surprised because he didn't let a tear drop or cry out in pain. I bandaged him and he acted as if nothing had happen. When it was over, he held me close.
I held onto Ji Won tightly as if he was going to leave me. I know he only thinks of me as his little dongsang but it feels nice holding him like this.
As Ji Won held onto Mina, his smiling face instantly turned sad. He wanted to say 'Mina, I love you as a girlfriend' so she would be his forever but he couldn't. He wasn't the type to admit his feelings. So he figured the scarring was not an engravement of his brotherly love to Mina, but his promised symbol as a soulmate to her forever...
still the same.|
11:05 PM