my lifeas itis.
Monday, May 30, 2005
cOnviE witH GOD!
wHeN i wAs mUggiNg, tHiS eNtRy fRoM briaN's olD bLoG aPpEaReD oN my miNd.
sO, i cAmE oNliNe, sEaRcH fOr tHiS pArtiCulAr eNtRy aNd TA-DA! sHaRe witH u gUyS.
it tOoK mE qUitE sOmE tiMe tO fiNd it, bUt i tHiNk itx wOrtH it.
sOmEhOw.. i fEeL GOD 'pUsHeD' mE tO cOmE oNliNe.
yupp.
alRigHty. bAcK tO mUggiNg.
hAviNg Applicabe Maths & Human Biology lAtEr.
nOt iNtEndiNg tO sLeEp.
itx dOeSn't hUrts dAt mUcH nOw.
pEaCe oUt~
God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me : Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me : Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me : I understand. But I still cant figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me : Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me : why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried aboutyesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty ....
God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me : You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes fromstruggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me : Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading....
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me : Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me : In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not whatyou are missing.
Me : What surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me : Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me : How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me : One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me : Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Year with a new sense of inspiration.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
still the same.|
11:53 PM
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Metamophosis
yupp.. itx bAcK uP aGaiN.
jUz hOpE itx cOmiNg tRuE tHiS tiMe.
i jUz sAw Mrs. Dewhurst's sliDeS oN bUttErfliEs aGaiN.
it dOeS hElps a lil.
sOmEtiMeS, huMaNs hAvE tO lEaRn tHe hArD wAy.
slAckEd my Sat awAy.
wHeN i sHld rEally bE sTudyiNg fOr mY Human Biology & Applicable Maths Exam oN tuEs!
aRgHx!
i hAvE tO wOrK extRa hArD tMr. i hOpE.
i'll nEvEr sAy a 3 hOuRs pApEr iS tOo lOng aGaiN.
ELACS pApEr oN fRidAy sAw my wOrSt hAnDwRitiNg iN yEaRs! [wEll, mAkE it mOntHs. =X]
tHe fiRst sigN oF pAniC cAmE wHeN i rEaD tHe qNs.
it wAsN't wAt i eXpEctEd.
iM sUrE an, Wei Ning, Audrey, Anne, etc kNoWs wAt i mEaNt!
hAhAx.
tHeN wHeN i fiNiShEd wRitiNg tHe suMmAry fOr tHe aUrAl sOuRcE [tHe tApE wAs hOrRibLe! & wE aRe oNly allOwEd tO litSeN oNcE!] i rEaliSed i'd sPeNt mOrE tHaN aN hOuR oN dAt ONE sEctiOn!
oH wElls. tHeN tHeRe wAs tHe Synthesis Essay.
tHe qNs iS aBit cRapPy.
sPeNt 5 miNs tRyiNg tO fiGuRe oUt tHe liNk!
*lolx*
tHeN i pRaCtiCaLLy wRotE wAtEvEr i kNeW!
tHaNk gOd i wAs aN aCtivE vOluNtEeR aNd mEmBeR oF WorldVision Singapore!
hEe.. bEiNg hElpFuL bEnEfits at tiMes.
u sEe, tHe tHeMe fOr tHe ELACS eXaM iS Humanitarian Aid!
i tHiNk i cAn pAsS tHe exAm.. iM jUz wOrriEd fOr tHe gRaDe.
cOz, tO mE, Chemistry iS gOnE.
oH wElls.
tUeSdAy.
lAst dAy oF eXaM.
aCtuAlly wAntEd tO wOrK aFtEr tHe eXaMs.
bUt hAveN't bEeN aBlE tO fiNd a jOb.
i nEeD tO kEeP mYsElf bUsY...
tOld sOmE pEoPle aBt my cOnDitiOn.
aNd nOw iM wOnDeriNg iF i sHld hAvE.
bUt i tHiNk i cAn tRuSt tHeM.
i hOpE sO.
wAs gLaD tHeY hAvE sOmE eXpEriEncE witH it.
bUt tHeRe aRe sTiLL sOmE clAriFicAtiOn tO mAkE.
oH wElls.
sOmE dAy..
fRoM nOw oN.
i'll hAvE stRoNg fAitH iN Astrology.
itx tOo fReAkiNg aMaZiNg.
at lEaSt.. at tHiS pOiNt oF my liFe.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
11:59 PM
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
后悔已经来不及。。
从前从前, 我都不用华文来写日记。
今天,既然跟往前不一样了,我看也无妨了。
以前是怕朋友看不懂而不用花文。。今天就是要让朋友看不懂。
一个无意的举动。
一句无疑的话。
就能改变一切了。
一声真挚的“对不起”真的很难说出口。
人都不想承认自己的错?
最少是我吧。。
可是这次的经验。
让我知道谁是我真挚的朋友。
谁没有听了一些“八卦”就离我而去。
谁听了“八卦”而加盐又加醋。
但我知道。
我错了。
我后悔了。
又有谁知道呢?
。。。
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
11:15 AM
Saturday, May 21, 2005
. . .
Who Will You Talk To When You Feel Lost,
If The Only One You Feel Like Talking To Is The One Making You Lost?
still the same.|
5:39 PM
All That I've Got...
wEnt tO sChOoL fOr Chemistry Seminar iN tHe mOrNiNg.
lOaDs oF pEePs diDn't tuRnEd up.
wAs wAitiNg fOr mOrE fReNz tO cOmE.
bUt tHey diDn't tuRnEd uP at 9.30.
sO i wEnT iNtO tHe lEctuRe tHeAtrE witH Chris iNstEad.
duRiNg bReAk, i rEaliSeD sOmE oF tHeM wAs lAtE.
aNd sOmE oF tHeM rEally diDn't tuRn uP.
oH wElls.
tHe sEmiNar wAs fuNny.
tHe lEctuReR wAs sCaRy iNitiAlly.
bUt aS wE bRoKe tHe iCe, hE bEcAmE fuNniEr.
Chris wAs oNe oF tHoSe wHo gOt piCkEd oN
tO aNsWeR qNs tHrOuGh oUt tHe sEmiNaR.
fElt sO vuLnErAblE sittiNg nExt tO hiM.
*lolx*
i'vE uPdAtEd mY muSiC jUkEbOx.
nOt a mAjOr oNe.
i jUz cHaNgEd 2 sOnGs.
pErHaPs, aFtEr tHe eXaMs, i'll uPdAtE tHe jUkEbOx aGaiN.
=)
wAs rEaDiNg tHe aStRoloGy tHiNgy @ Friendster eArliEr.
gOt fReAkEd oUt!
cOz.. wAt tHeY sAy wAs sO tRuE.
jEez...
sHall cArry oN rEaDiNg tHeM?
hAhAx.
i mUsT hAvE lOoKeD tErRiBlE ytd.
diDn't eXpEct an tO tExt mE tO aSk mE wAt's wRoNg.
oH wElls.
tHaNks, an.
iM tRyiNg tO gEt a fReNz tO QUIT sMoKiNg.
tOld hiM aBt dAt.
hE wAs cOoL witH it.
bUt hE dOEsN't lOoK hApPy.
sHld i pErSiSt?
oR sHld i bAcK oFF?
pEePs, sOmE aDviCe pLs.
eXaM's nExt wEek.
rEally hAvE tO wOrK hArD le.
pRetty diSaPpoiNtEd witH mYsElf.
fElt kiNda hOpEleSs.
oH wElls.
I Have No Idea.
About What I Should Do.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
2:02 PM
Friday, May 20, 2005
. . .
i hAvE bEeN tAuGht tO givE & tAkE.
i'd rEckoN i hAvE givEn qUitE a biT.
bUt wAt iS tHeRe tO tAkE?
dEspiSe-mEnt fRoM 'fReNz'?
liFe iS rEally fuNny, eH?
jUst wHeN u tHoUgHt dAt u aRe oN tHe rOaD tO rEcovEry.
wHeN u tHoUght dAt liFe's gEttiNg bEttEr..
tHiNgs hAvE tO cOmE cRaShiNg dOwN yEt aGaiN.
iM gLaD i wAsn't tHe oNly oNe wHo fElt dAt my fReNz aRe cHaNgiNg.
i wAs tAlkiNg tO Hanisha duRiNg luNcH..
aNd wE bOtH fiNd tHe sAmE pErSoN cHaNgiNg.
bUt i fiNd mOrE tHaN oNe pEePs aRd mE cHaNgiNg!
aS i hAvE sAiD iN pReviOus pOstS.
pErHaPs.. cHaNge iS tHe oNly cOnstAnt iN liFe.
eXaMs cOmiNg!
aRgHx!!!
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
4:36 PM
Monday, May 16, 2005
rElAxAtiOn tiMe? NO!
*pHeW*
iM ovEr & dOnE witH my ELACS 8% Field Report.
i mUsT eMpHaSiZe oF tHe fAct dAt itx 8% iS bEcOz tHiS 8% cAn mAkE a hugE diFFeReNcE tO mY eNd oF yEaR mArk mAn wHeN tHe nOrMaL tEsTs aRe liKe 3%? 4%
aNd tHe sChOol sEt tHiS pEnAlty fOr pEePs wHo hAnDs iN lAtE: 10% off EACH day starting from 5.00pm sharp, 16th May 2005.
'''==
luCkily i hAnDeD iN miNe period 2 mAn.
bUt gUeSs wAt?
eXaMs stArts nExt wEeK.
mAy nOt bEeN cOmiNg oNliNe aS oFteN uNtiL tHe eXaMs iS ovEr.
i gOttA stArt muGgiNg.
cOz i diDn't dO rEally wEll fOr my chem & Human Bio tests.
i did OK for ELACS & Applic. Maths, but still..
i nEeD tO wOrK hArDeR iF i wAnt tO gEt iNtO UWA.
*hAix*
lOtx oF tHiNgs hApPeNiNg nOw.
diFFeReNt pEePs. bUt siMilAr tHiNgs?
nOt sUre.
i tHiNk i sHld stAy oUt oF it mAn.
Hollzzz gOiNg bAck SG iN july 3rd.
sHe bOoK hEr tiks tOdAy.
tHe hOls wE hAd iN April iS hiStOrY!
*lolx*
i eNjOyed tHe 1st wEeK oF hOls lOtx! =p
Hanisha's gOiNg fOr dRiviNg pRactiCaLs tMr.
hEr bRo sAid itx Doom's Day.
*lolx*
hOpE it dOeSn't rAiN tMr aNd gOoD luCk fOr uR tEst mAn.
dAt's all fOr nOw, folks.
i've lEaRnt tO bE sElf-fiSh aBt my fEeliNgs & tHouGhts at tiMes.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
4:16 PM
Sunday, May 15, 2005
hOw siNfuL aM i?
Your Deadly Sins
|
Sloth: 60%
|
Envy: 20%
|
Greed: 20%
|
Gluttony: 0%
|
Lust: 0%
|
Pride: 0%
|
Wrath: 0%
|
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%
|
You will die while sleeping - and no one will notice. |
wEnt tO hElp oUt my tEmplE tOdAy.
itx tHe Buddha's bDaE!
hApPy biRtHdAy!
sAw Tae, Boss, Jian Sheng & Sarah tHerE tOo.
i lOvE dOiNg vOluNtEeriNg wOrk.
bUt iM dEaD tiRed nOw.
i diDn't stAy tO sEe tHe fiRewOrKs!
i mUst sAy, iM nOt fAtEd witH fiReWoRks.
i miSsEd Skyworks 05, tHe fiRewOrks diSplAy at Garden City.
i hAvE aLsO miSsEd 2 fiReWoRks diSplAy by mY teMplE!
dAt's 4 nOw.
aRgHx!
oH wElls.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
7:37 PM
Saturday, May 14, 2005
CHANGE... tHe oNly cOnStAnt iN liFe
wAhx.. fiNaLLy fiNiShEd mY 8% ELACS fiEld rEpOrt.
bUt itx cRaPpy tHoUgH.
oH wElls, at lEaSt iM dOnE witH it.
tHaNks Nicole fOr hElpiNg mE witH tHe oRgAniZatiOn. =)
pEoPlE aRd mE aRe cHaNgiNg.
iS dAt wAt 'lOvE' dO tO pEoplE?
bUt tHe cHaNge hAs bEeN a lil tOo dRaStiC?
oR itx jUsT pArt oF liFe dAt pEePs cHaNge?
i tOld Erin tHe otHeR dAy,
iF my fReNz cHaNgE-d tOdAy,
tHeN tHeY wiLL cHaNge sOoN.
aNd hOpEfully tHeN,
tHiNgs gEt bEttEr.
hOpEfully.
nOw.
i jUst hAvE tO tRy aDaPtiNg.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
7:27 PM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Fun Athletics Day!
"All That I've Got"
The Used
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..
I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got!
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got
i diDn't uPlOaD tHe sOng iNtO mY bLoG tHiS tiMe.
bUt tHiS iS a gOoD sOnG, pEePs.
gO d/l it aNd litsEn tO it.
tHe lyRiCs aRe.. .. oH wElls.
yupp.
tOdAy wAs SUPPOSEDLY Fun Athletics Day.
bUt it wAs cAnCellEd duE tO a wEatHeR fOrEcAsT wHiCh sAys it will rAiN.
aNd tHe rAiN rEaLLy oNly lAstEd aBt hAlf aN hOur.
wAstEd oNe wHoLe dAy aT sChOoL tOdAy.
bEcAuSe i diDn't bRiNg aNy bOoKs, itx hArD tO hAvE lEsSoNs.
i jUz rEaLiSeD aLL tHoSe pEePs dAt i uSeD tO bE cLoSe tO aRe nO lOnGer dAt cLoSe.
wHiLe tHoSe wHo aReN't cLoSe tO bE aRe bEcOmiNg cLoSeR.
aM i lOsiNg fReNz iN a wAy?
i jUz sEeMeD tO hAvE pRoBleMs witH eVeRyoNe.
nOt tOo gOoD a tHiNg?
i sUpPoSe.
pEoPlE cHaNgEs. . .
tReAsUrEd fReNz.
wiLL sTiLL bE tReAsUrEd fReNz.
i hOpE.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
5:06 PM
Monday, May 09, 2005
HELP!
yupp.. i dEsPeRatEly nEeD hElp mAn.
my Chemistry and Human Bio [espc Chemistry] iS sEriOuSly nOt uP tO stAnDaRd!
i nEeD tO dO sMtH aBt it!
eXaM's sO nEaR!!
pEePs! hElp mE!!
PLEASE!
i duN uNdErstANd Chemistry!
tHe sTruCtuRe tHiNgiE.
dipole-dipole.
dispersion.
& i hAtE tHe wOrD "EXCEPTIONS" nOw mAn.
*hAix*
ELACS fiEld rEpOrt wHiCh is wOrtH a mAjOr 8% iS duE nExt mOndAy.
A.maths EPW II tHiS fRiDAy. 6%!
gOd. iM sTrEsSeD.
rEaLLy.
aNd pLeAsE.
miGrAnEs.. sTaY AWAY fRoM mE.
tHaNks.
aRgHx!
will uPdAtE sOoN.
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
3:42 PM
Saturday, May 07, 2005
aRgHx!
i nEaRly cOmMittEd sUiCiDe yEstErdAy mAn.
hAd tHiS wOrSt hEaDaChE iN yEaRs!
i hOpE i duN sUffEr fRm miGrAiNeS mAn.
hAviNg tHiS hEaDaChEs sO fReQuEntly rEcEntly.
i wAsN't ruNniNg a higH tEmPeRaTuRe.
but i nUrSeD mySelf aNwAy.
wHiCh iS rAtHeR iRoNiCaL givEn tHe sitUatiOn iM iN.
bUt yupp.
i nUrSeD mYsElf.. aNd tHaNkfUlly i gOt bEttEr.
i dRiFtEd oFF iNtO dReAmlAnD wiTh mY iNcOnSiDeRatE nEiGhBoUr's vOiCe sTiLL dRoNiNg aT tHe bAcK oF mY miNd.
hAhA. yupp.
tHey wErE hAviNg sOmE sOrT oF cElEbRatiOns ytD niGht aNd wAs siNgiNg karaoke wHiCh mAdE mY hEaDaChE wOrSt.
oH wElls.
i cAmE bAcK hOmE at luNcH tiMe ytD mAn.
fiRstly.. tHe hEaDaChE wAs killiNg mE.
sEcoNdly.. i hAvE sTuFFs tO dEaL witH. *siGhEr*
aNd tHe 2 tEsTs ytd wAs a kiLLeR.
*bLeAhx*
duNo wAt tO dO wiTh mYsElf.
tHe hOrOsCoPe tHiNgy sAiD i'll stArT aFreSh tHiS wEeK.
hOpEfully sO, mAn.
fiR cAllEd lAsT niGht.
aNd wE tAlkEd fOr qUitE a wHiLe.
i hOpE hE gOt fReE cAlls mAn.
EXAMS iN 2 wEeKs.
nEeD tO buCk uP mAn.
iM fAiliNg aLL mY subjEcts.
GAWD.
i wOnDeR wAt's wRoNg witH mE.
aRgHx.
aNd i sTiLL nEeD tO gEt sOmE pEoPlE hAvE dAt sEnSe oF uRgEnCy mAn.
SOME pEoPlE.
*hAix*
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
2:46 PM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
yEt aNotHeR dAy..
hEys.
i tHiNk i piSsEd oFF lOaDs oF pEoplE tOdAy.
mOrE tHaN Monday & Tuesday, i gUeSs.
yupp.
hAhAx.
sColDed, iGnOrEd, oR jUsT pLaiN giviNg sOmE attitUdE tO mOsT oF mY fReNz tOdAy.
i dEciDeD tO bE hApPy.
wEll.. aS iN BE hApPy.
yupp.
aNd iM pRetty sUrE i cAn dO dAt.
i wAs tHe pReSiDeNt oF ELDDS bAcK iN s'PoRe.
bEsiDeS, BEING hApPy iS wAt i hAvE bEeN dOiNg fOr tHe pAsT 2 yEaRs.
jUsT hAvE tO cOntiNuE, mAn.
iM a pRoFeSsiOnAl. =)
sHld hAvE tAkEn it aS a sUbjEct tHiS yEaR!
cAll mE hyPoCritE aLL u wAnT.
piSsiNg oFF mY fReNz iS wOrSt.
a bRaNd nEw dAy tMr.
aNd a sAmE oLd bRaNd nEw mE.
Our Life Is Like A Precious Liquid
That Is Slowly Being Poured Out.
It Cannot Be Saved.
It Can Only Be Spent.
The Question Is...
How Are We Spending It?
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
3:45 PM
Monday, May 02, 2005
SICK & TIREd
oF
aLwAyS bEiNg siCk & tiReD.
. . .
wHy bOtHeR wHeN u kNoW itx nOt gOnNa bE aPpReCiAtEd.
yupp.
pErHaPs itx bEttEr tO rEmAiN eMotiOn-lEsS.
I See History Repeating.
Again. . .
pEaCe oUt~
still the same.|
3:34 PM